Humor is how we roll…

I am sarcastic. I am. It is such a big part of me that if someone told me to not be sarcastic, I’m pretty sure I’d fail. completely. Kind of like how I talk with my hands… If I lost them or if I was the quad, no one would understand me even though I could still talk. It is what it is.

Sarcasm and my sense of humor have got me through some of the toughest times in my life. Now, let’s face it, I’ve been through some tough times… Tougher than most. And because of the one big tough time we went through, we have some pretty interesting things that happen. Seriously. We do. One of my coworkers today told me that she loved my stories… Turns out I have a lot of them.

So, here are a few. From just this week… and it’s only Wednesday…

FYI, I call my husband “the quad.” He knows it. I refer to him directly as it and when I’m speaking about him. I almost named this blog “The Quad’s Wife.”

Monday morning…

The quad and I commute to work. Or rather, I drive Miss Daisy to work every single day… That’s right, no DD for this girl. EVER. Unless someone has offered but typically, no DD. Thus, momma no drink…. ANYWAY, Monday morning, I drove the quad to work. When we got there, I noticed a large crowd outside. I got out of the car and saw another crowd and realized that the building had been evacuated (never good if it’s before 8 am). As the quad was getting out of the van (HE’S SO SLOW), I heard sirens and rushed over to him and took over. Yes, I took over and drove him out of the van and off to the side so I could get the hell out of there… The building had been evacuated, fire trucks were on their way and I tossed the quad to the wolves and left him to deal with it on his own… I did say bye though!! He called later to tell me that I had to come and get him because they couldn’t get back inside. I panicked and was about to hang up before he said “Bazinga! We’re fine. False alarm.” Brat….

Monday evening…

We went to the grocery store since the kid is still gone and we had time to kill… yes, we’re bored without her. So, while at the store, the quad is making me get him Rye bread. I HATE RYE BREAD! He loves it. So I’m looking for it and totally annoyed. I see that he’s blocking part of the aisle and say “Hey, you’re in the way.” A couple walked around him and the wife GLARED at me and said to him “Oh honey, you’re not in the way.” um, WHAT?! I don’t think so…. I whipped around and looked at her and said “No way, I’m his wife and I get to tell him when he’s in the way.” and then went back to looking for bread. And the quad then replies oh so smugly “She said I wasn’t in the way.” He had a smug look on his face as did the woman. Her poor husband was pressed up against the side of the aisle looking like he wanted to hide. Poor guy… So the lady has the audacity to look at me and then look at the quad ever so sweetly and say “no, you weren’t in the way.” she then shot me a look and walked off.

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!??!!!! Apparently I’m the witch for telling my husband he’s in the way just because he’s in a wheelchair! yea… The quad loved it and talked about it the entire ride home. not cool.

Tuesday night…

Since the kid isn’t home, mommy and daddy are playing… kind of since Tuesday is technically a school night. After work, the quad went to dinner with coworkers and I went to yoga. Yes, I yoga’d it up. I did it well too! Anyway, I went to meet him after yoga. I locked the car (leaving my wallet and phone since I didn’t need them) and went inside. I ate, we chatted and hung out and then left. Thankfully, one coworker went to the bathroom before leaving (this comes in later). We went outside, I opened the ramp door, walked into the van and turned the car on, came back out and helped the quad get in and then closed the door. I did this all without unlocked the car… So when I walked to the driver’s side, I tried to open the door and realized it was locked…. DAMN IT. Thankfully, his other coworker walked out and helped me call AAA. She, unfortunately, freaked out a bit and called them for me and explained that my “paraplegic husband (no, quad) could’t open the door and he was stuck inside and SOMEONE NEEDED TO COME AND HELP NOW!” So, I took the phone and gave my info and explained that yes, my husband was inside but he was fine. We just wanted to go home… However, did you know that when you call AAA and tell them that someone disabled is stuck inside, they come right away? Yea, I didn’t either… so they came and opened the door and we went home. The entire ride home we kept apologizing to each other for it happening… and laughed.

Wednesday night…

Tonight… I was making mini pizzas and the quad wanted a pepperoni. I had been tossing them to the dog and without thinking, I looked at the quad and tossed him a pepperoni. It sailed past him and hit the floor…. oops. We both had a good laugh.

This is our life. and this is the norm. We deal with things like this ALL OF THE TIME. we also deal with people like that RIDICULOUS lady in the supermarket ALL OF THE TIME. But we roll with it by laughing about it. And laugh we have this week… yes, we have laughed a lot.


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