Including the quad.
This is a topic that people do NOT like discussing once you reach a certain age. The quad and I joke that the topic switched from the kid’s pooping abilities to his abilities once he was injured and well, it’s true. For months and months we discussed the kid’s bowel movements.
Did she poop today? What did it look like? How many wipes did it take? What did she eat?
Typical parent talk which dissipated as she got older.
Then that fateful day and once again, we were back discussing poop.
Yes, for those who wonder, the quad poops. Haven’t you ever read the book? EVERYONE POOPS!
But no, he does not do it on his own. I do it for him.
Every other day. Since, quite frankly, who poops every day? Well, Dr. Sheldon Cooper does but he’s a rarity.
Yes, I do it for him.
No, I do not like it. Nor does the quad. But it is a necessary evil.
The way I see it is that I do it for his health. If I didn’t, who would do it? No one.
No, our PCA does not take care of it. The agency doesn’t allow them to do this or rather, doesn’t give training on it
I won’t get into specifics but it does not take long. I know Christopher Reeve wrote about it once and I think it said it took him an hour or more. Yea… no. Not even half that time…
As all SCI patients and their families/caregivers do, you modify what you learn in in-patient to work with your life.
Turns out, we could make it work well with our needs and our life. We went from doing it every night, to every other night. And at times, when necessary, every third night since hey, life gets in the way and that’s okay.
I remember the first time I had to do it… we were at the Shepherd Center and our favorite nurse was taking some time to show me and help me out. The quad cried. I cried harder. Our amazing nurse, who we still keep in touch with, talked us through it and showed us that it was going to be okay.
And it is.
It’s not great but it’s okay.
I will admit that it has been tough on our marriage. It is one thing that gets in the way. We’re working on it though.
We’ve both realized that we need to start thinking more and more about the future and doing more long term planning. And one of those plans involves more care at home. As the quad ages, he’ll need more help. However, as he ages, I age and I may not be able to give him the care he needs…
That’s probably another blog post for another day.
For now, we still discuss poop. We always will and that’s okay since this is our life.